So .... let's see how this goes

After being hacked last week I am feeling very leery of posting on here. Nothing like biting the bullet and getting it over with though is there?

I've been super busy of late. Working two places, taking a class and just trying to stay sane is what's overwhelming my life right now. Oh and trying to make myself healthier.

So far everything is going really well. I wish I didn't have to go to Robinson to work, I wish I was working full time at Cvs and getting paid for it, but my goal for June is almost completed(!) and it hasn't been that extremely hard.

It hasn't been a cake walk.... lots of walking involved but..... so, so far for June I've lost 4lbs, and my goal for this month was to see 5 off, so nearly there. I have this last week and we'll see how it all ends up. Gotta say though I'm really excited with just the 4.

Been trying to get my girls from high school to get together, but they are all proving very stubborn. I mean I know they all have busy lives too, but it can't hurt to at least drop me a line and say "hey not going to be able to make it this year, can't wait for next though!" or something is it?!?!?

I thought not.

Welp, that's all I got right now. Just a short one to try out the new passworded blog.... fingers crossed.

ps, sorry everyone had to see all of that on here. That was just ridiculous

lates

Sometimes I just can't beat myself.

So I know I need exercise to make this diet thing work.

It's just something I personally need.

I know this.

And yet, I have yet to do it. I always have intentions of doing it, but I never do. And I always blame my lack of motivation on my sleep patterns. I just don't like to get up, especially to exercise! And because I never was able to get up early enough to do it, I never have enough time to fit it into my day, never mind that I'm usually off some what early-ish, it's far to hot to do it then.

So it has to be my sleep pattern.

It's just gotta be.

So, last night I set my alarm early and was determined that I would not just hit snooze and sleep through my work out time (although personally I think that was my exact plan... somewhere deep in the lazy recesses of my brain)

However...

I woke up this morning 45 minutes before the alarm was even supposed to go off.

umm......

Shoot!

There went my theory about what causes my laziness.

Cause it's apparently not the part of my brain that wants sleep. Because I also dreamed about, well, not about exercising but the equipment I use. So.... my subconscious clearly is on board with the exercise idea.

That means it's me that's being lazy.

Bummer.

There goes that excuse.

Oh and as I'm writing this, I still have 15 minutes til that alarm is supposed to be getting me up to exercise. Foiled again!!

Facts of last week : I didn't do to badly eats wise, but I didn't knock it out either, and I just keep not logging. Bad bad Kara! I didn't gain but I didn't lose either. Stayed exactly the same. Frustration. But still it wasn't a gain so I should be happy.

Now I'm off to exercise... I hope.

It's been a wild one

So this week has been something else.

Let's start with the good news.

Lost 2.2 lbs, super excited about that.

Found out that my petition (that I didn't actually petition) has approved and I now get money for my summer courses!! Really super excited about that!

....

Okay that might be all the good news....

Oh wait! Got gas for $3.78!! Guy at the pump next to me was chatting me up, which was weird but hey.... and the very best news of all, although not for other people? It went up the next day. Yay good timing! At least for me!

Oh and Friday was jean day! So yeah got to wear jeans to work! (really good thing as I didn't do laundry and was out of khakis)

I think that really is all of the good news.

We had that crazy storm front go through.... I mean seriously how insane was that thing? It was stretched almost entirely top to bottom across the US. How nutty is that?! We didn't really have any damage. In fact I don't think any damage. Some poor flowers lost their petals but that would have happened anyway.

Work has been crazy, people stocking up on lanterns and oil and ice and just about everything else under the sun because they were with out power. And then they all came back to buy tons of stuff for Memorial Day weekend! Nuts I tell ya nuts! You hardly get a break, and you go home tired!

So I was a bit naughty this week on WW because I haven't been logging my food... and I've been dessert crazy. But I have since corrected the matter. That's right, like a good kid I went back and logged everything that I ate! Because well..... I do better when I see those numbers staring me down.

And now today (Saturday) me and the rents are going to go to Charleston, because we just can't stay home.

And that's the long and short of it.

Hope you had a good week!

Lates!

I feel it keenly

So I had an interview for a pharmacy tech position in Robinson yesterday.

It went well, even though I hated having to do it. Interviewing just always feels so awkward. Having to think up instances of various scenarios is just difficult.

But I did it, I went for it. Which meant that I had to "give up" my internship. It's not like I had to call up the place and tell them that I won't be coming, but I was prepared to for go it.

And was almost looking forward to it. Tuition will be cheaper without the internship to pay for and there would only be travel in one direction.

Had a short shift to work today.

Started out okay... if you count that I thought I started at 9 and it was actually 9:30, oh well just means that I get to sit in the back and read until it's time to start.

That was only really bad thing, it was busy most of the time which is always tiring but it was still a good day.

Then Brandon came over and asked to speak to me. I had an inkling that it wasn't going to be something I really wanted to hear.

So he said I did a really good job in the interview, that he thinks I'd do really well in a pharmacy, that if they get another opening that he definitely wanted me to come in and work with them. But that they were going with one of the other applicants.

Sad face here.

I mean I'm pretty sure that I know the girl who got it. And she totally deserves it, also she lives much closer to the store and seems to me that it's kind of a better situation for her to be in.

I can still do my internship. Of course I'll have to pay for it. And I don't know where I'm going to work. And I'll have to do way more driving. But all in all I'm sure it'll be okay.

At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself.

I'm really disappointed. And it's making me sort of angry, the poor cat is probably sulking because I kept scolding him quite forcefully. It's not his fault he's a cat and wouldn't stop meowing.... but it was annoying me.

But I'm disappointed. And it's making me want to eat ten cookies... luckily there aren't any cookies for me to eat.

Okay... I don't really want to eat ten cookies..... but it's making me want to relieve my frustration some how. And apparently that means I want to do something destructive.

I need my mother to come home so we can walk or something. Something where I am exerting frustrated energy.

It's amazing how something that I wasn't even 100% convinced I wanted to do, is bumming me out when I don't get it.

Ah well.

That's life for you I guess.

Good and bad.

And who knows, I may really love the internship in Olney, and it may become something permanent. Anything is possible.

Now the question is do I try and transfer back to Olney (where it sounds like things are rather rough right now) or do I see about finding a job somewhere else.

Choices choices.

Do things like that ever effect your diet? Because I feel like it really could mine.

I guess I'll just have to try and make sure if it does effect me it's in a positive way.

Lates.

I'm counting on you...

to help hold me accountable!

I am back on the band wagon kids.

I know I fall off it a lot, but I feel a genuine motivation to try again. Before it was more of a feeling of having to do it, and that's never good for me.

So, here we go.

I got the new Weight Watchers app on my phone, which I'm totally loving. Really glad it's there because now I can enter points and everything right away. Instead of having to wait until I get home (which I never did btw)

With my potential job I can have walking buddies again! Which is always a great thing. I managed a few times on my own when the weather was so nice but then I lost it again.

And all in all I just have a better mind set. Which is probably the biggest hurdle for me. If I don't want to eat healthy then I won't.

But... the thing is, I know I'll still be tempted to sneak "bad" things every now and again. Which wouldn't be horrible if it didn't send me down a very dark bad trail. And I know I'll be tempted to slack off, which means that I could still be losing weight but not as effectively as could be happening. The other thing that I'll need to be held accountable on is keeping up with the program, not getting discouraged when things don't go perfectly. And if/when I meet my final goal to still be aware of my weight. Because I really don't want to yo-yo the rest of my life, or to only yo. (go one direction and one direction only)

So your task, should you choose to accept it (and you should I need help) is to hold me accountable. Check up with me to see if I've been behaving on the plan, if I've been working out, if I'm still motivated.

My goals stand as thus:

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

have lost 25lbs

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

have lost 50lbs

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

Reach final goal!!

That's how this thing is gonna go down!

Also there is no time limit on this whole thing, typically I would want to be at a certain weight by a certain date and that's a sure fire way to fail, it's just way to much pressure.

I think every week I'll try to post at least once about whether or not I've followed the program as I'm supposed too. And once I set up an exercise regimen I'll post about how that went too.

And I know that I've said a lot of these things before, but that's where you come in again!

At least if you want too....

please?!

Lates!

Just being a little vain here

I mean it's not like I created the background or header....

But can I just say that I am seriously loving both! They are so awesome! In my oh so humble opinion.

My room is essentially clean, I need some more storage type things... or I need to figure out how to re-organize things so everything fits.

But what I really really want to do still.... Paint!!! I really want to get this room painted!

However I want to wait for some really nice days when I can open the windows up so the fumes don't harm anyone, and I need at least a couple of days off so I can... well... paint.

But until I can finish the make over to my room, which is almost finished, I happily look at my made over blog. It tides me over.

This blog post by the way.... has been entirely pointless.

Just me babbling to relieve the pressure of having flown through my Medical Terminology Midterm. Which I got a 90% on thanks very much.

Anywho, lates!

As if...

being a girl and having to deal with girl.... stuff, ..... ya know... OH FINE! make me say it, period.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I've decided to torture my self a little more.

One, I'm back on the wagon, that's right following weightwatchers rules and trying to eat right.

So that's not exactly bad, per say. Just kinda hard.

What's actually really hard is that I am trying to drop caffeine. Wicked hard, especially for me because I do so enjoy caffeine. I love Mt. Dew and Pepsi and Coke and Crush, it's all so tasty. Also I love tea and chocolate, which also has good ol caffeine in it, not as bad as soda but it's still in there.

So not feeling super great, limiting myself on what I can and cannot eat and now.... splitting headache, all because of the caffeine.

However.

I am going to be a grown up about this and not complain.... overly.... cause I know I've already mentioned it, and I know I most likely will again. But I won't whine and moan.... er... I'll try not to.

Wish me luck.

Lates