I feel it keenly

So I had an interview for a pharmacy tech position in Robinson yesterday.

It went well, even though I hated having to do it. Interviewing just always feels so awkward. Having to think up instances of various scenarios is just difficult.

But I did it, I went for it. Which meant that I had to "give up" my internship. It's not like I had to call up the place and tell them that I won't be coming, but I was prepared to for go it.

And was almost looking forward to it. Tuition will be cheaper without the internship to pay for and there would only be travel in one direction.

Had a short shift to work today.

Started out okay... if you count that I thought I started at 9 and it was actually 9:30, oh well just means that I get to sit in the back and read until it's time to start.

That was only really bad thing, it was busy most of the time which is always tiring but it was still a good day.

Then Brandon came over and asked to speak to me. I had an inkling that it wasn't going to be something I really wanted to hear.

So he said I did a really good job in the interview, that he thinks I'd do really well in a pharmacy, that if they get another opening that he definitely wanted me to come in and work with them. But that they were going with one of the other applicants.

Sad face here.

I mean I'm pretty sure that I know the girl who got it. And she totally deserves it, also she lives much closer to the store and seems to me that it's kind of a better situation for her to be in.

I can still do my internship. Of course I'll have to pay for it. And I don't know where I'm going to work. And I'll have to do way more driving. But all in all I'm sure it'll be okay.

At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself.

I'm really disappointed. And it's making me sort of angry, the poor cat is probably sulking because I kept scolding him quite forcefully. It's not his fault he's a cat and wouldn't stop meowing.... but it was annoying me.

But I'm disappointed. And it's making me want to eat ten cookies... luckily there aren't any cookies for me to eat.

Okay... I don't really want to eat ten cookies..... but it's making me want to relieve my frustration some how. And apparently that means I want to do something destructive.

I need my mother to come home so we can walk or something. Something where I am exerting frustrated energy.

It's amazing how something that I wasn't even 100% convinced I wanted to do, is bumming me out when I don't get it.

Ah well.

That's life for you I guess.

Good and bad.

And who knows, I may really love the internship in Olney, and it may become something permanent. Anything is possible.

Now the question is do I try and transfer back to Olney (where it sounds like things are rather rough right now) or do I see about finding a job somewhere else.

Choices choices.

Do things like that ever effect your diet? Because I feel like it really could mine.

I guess I'll just have to try and make sure if it does effect me it's in a positive way.

Lates.

I'm counting on you...

to help hold me accountable!

I am back on the band wagon kids.

I know I fall off it a lot, but I feel a genuine motivation to try again. Before it was more of a feeling of having to do it, and that's never good for me.

So, here we go.

I got the new Weight Watchers app on my phone, which I'm totally loving. Really glad it's there because now I can enter points and everything right away. Instead of having to wait until I get home (which I never did btw)

With my potential job I can have walking buddies again! Which is always a great thing. I managed a few times on my own when the weather was so nice but then I lost it again.

And all in all I just have a better mind set. Which is probably the biggest hurdle for me. If I don't want to eat healthy then I won't.

But... the thing is, I know I'll still be tempted to sneak "bad" things every now and again. Which wouldn't be horrible if it didn't send me down a very dark bad trail. And I know I'll be tempted to slack off, which means that I could still be losing weight but not as effectively as could be happening. The other thing that I'll need to be held accountable on is keeping up with the program, not getting discouraged when things don't go perfectly. And if/when I meet my final goal to still be aware of my weight. Because I really don't want to yo-yo the rest of my life, or to only yo. (go one direction and one direction only)

So your task, should you choose to accept it (and you should I need help) is to hold me accountable. Check up with me to see if I've been behaving on the plan, if I've been working out, if I'm still motivated.

My goals stand as thus:

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

have lost 25lbs

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

have lost 50lbs

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

lose 5lbs

Reach final goal!!

That's how this thing is gonna go down!

Also there is no time limit on this whole thing, typically I would want to be at a certain weight by a certain date and that's a sure fire way to fail, it's just way to much pressure.

I think every week I'll try to post at least once about whether or not I've followed the program as I'm supposed too. And once I set up an exercise regimen I'll post about how that went too.

And I know that I've said a lot of these things before, but that's where you come in again!

At least if you want too....

please?!

Lates!

Just being a little vain here

I mean it's not like I created the background or header....

But can I just say that I am seriously loving both! They are so awesome! In my oh so humble opinion.

My room is essentially clean, I need some more storage type things... or I need to figure out how to re-organize things so everything fits.

But what I really really want to do still.... Paint!!! I really want to get this room painted!

However I want to wait for some really nice days when I can open the windows up so the fumes don't harm anyone, and I need at least a couple of days off so I can... well... paint.

But until I can finish the make over to my room, which is almost finished, I happily look at my made over blog. It tides me over.

This blog post by the way.... has been entirely pointless.

Just me babbling to relieve the pressure of having flown through my Medical Terminology Midterm. Which I got a 90% on thanks very much.

Anywho, lates!

As if...

being a girl and having to deal with girl.... stuff, ..... ya know... OH FINE! make me say it, period.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I've decided to torture my self a little more.

One, I'm back on the wagon, that's right following weightwatchers rules and trying to eat right.

So that's not exactly bad, per say. Just kinda hard.

What's actually really hard is that I am trying to drop caffeine. Wicked hard, especially for me because I do so enjoy caffeine. I love Mt. Dew and Pepsi and Coke and Crush, it's all so tasty. Also I love tea and chocolate, which also has good ol caffeine in it, not as bad as soda but it's still in there.

So not feeling super great, limiting myself on what I can and cannot eat and now.... splitting headache, all because of the caffeine.

However.

I am going to be a grown up about this and not complain.... overly.... cause I know I've already mentioned it, and I know I most likely will again. But I won't whine and moan.... er... I'll try not to.

Wish me luck.

Lates

And to think that I saw it on Mulberry Street!

Okay, to be fair, I think that street intersection is actually Jackson, but Seuss has such a way with words, it's hard to top that line.... so ..... yeah anyway.

O...


OM....

OM with a CAPITOL G!!!!

I don't know that I have laughed this hard in a long long time.

It was one of those laughs where you cry, and possibly develop the hiccups just because you are laughing so hard!

Today.... today I saw it. One of the most..... epic things I have ever seen!

Imagine if you will, a Hillbilly, hick, country bumpkin. The type that has the long snaggle tooth that he runs his tongue down as he says "Heh, your sure is purdy." . The type that wears a mesh belly tank in summer not because it's hot outside, but because it's hot, as in uber attractive, and has a mullet that's getting a little thin in the front so he wears a baseball cap at all times. The type that can nail a fly at 50 paces with the spit from his chew. The one that has the beat up huge gas guzzling Ford truck with the odd plastic purple McDonald's Grimace glued on as a hood ornament. Okay... you with me?

Now.... imagine this guy, Billy Joe Jim Bob, jammin, and I mean 'shaking his truck he's so into it' jammin, to NSYNC's: 'It's gonna be me'. And least you think that perhaps it was a random song on the radio, oh no! It was a cd, I heard the next song starting!! And he was still dancing!

It was glorious! Simply one of the most elegant things I've seen!

I think I might have peed a little I was laughing so hard. And let me tell you it's hard to laugh that hard and try to look like you aren't. I mean, the dude clearly was enjoying himself, and who am I to detract from such a simple pleasure?

If only, ah if only I could have captured on film. I would be entering it right now to AOTS's around the net. It was too die for!

Side note, I can't actually say the guy wears mesh shirts, or has a receding hair line, or says purdy, or can preform the spit/fly trick, I can only speculate. BUT the rest of the story? All true! Allllll gloriously true!!

It's a skill

I'm really good at digging in and deep cleaning..... I mean not all the time, but when I'm just fed up with it all and can't stand the state of filth anymore... I'm really good about getting in there, and over the years I've gotten a lot better at actually throwing stuff out in these rare cleaning times, I used to just find a new spot to store it. So that's also good.

But


What I'm really good at, is taking breaks from cleaning. I mean I will be hard at it for a couple of hours and then.... why I'm hot, clearly it's time for an hour break to go sit on the couch and sip nice cold water.

But after that break it's always so hard to get back into the swing of cleaning. Ya know?

Yeah, me too.

So here I am... I'm sure it's no surprise to you at this point.

I'm taking a break!

Never mind that we just got back from supper and I helped mom with her homework cause she has a headache, and that the only thing I did was take the bedding down to be washed and sorted laundry to be done.

It's time for a break.

It's a skill I have... taking breaks.


Happy break to you!

Getting ready for an overhaul.........