I feel it keenly

So I had an interview for a pharmacy tech position in Robinson yesterday.

It went well, even though I hated having to do it. Interviewing just always feels so awkward. Having to think up instances of various scenarios is just difficult.

But I did it, I went for it. Which meant that I had to "give up" my internship. It's not like I had to call up the place and tell them that I won't be coming, but I was prepared to for go it.

And was almost looking forward to it. Tuition will be cheaper without the internship to pay for and there would only be travel in one direction.

Had a short shift to work today.

Started out okay... if you count that I thought I started at 9 and it was actually 9:30, oh well just means that I get to sit in the back and read until it's time to start.

That was only really bad thing, it was busy most of the time which is always tiring but it was still a good day.

Then Brandon came over and asked to speak to me. I had an inkling that it wasn't going to be something I really wanted to hear.

So he said I did a really good job in the interview, that he thinks I'd do really well in a pharmacy, that if they get another opening that he definitely wanted me to come in and work with them. But that they were going with one of the other applicants.

Sad face here.

I mean I'm pretty sure that I know the girl who got it. And she totally deserves it, also she lives much closer to the store and seems to me that it's kind of a better situation for her to be in.

I can still do my internship. Of course I'll have to pay for it. And I don't know where I'm going to work. And I'll have to do way more driving. But all in all I'm sure it'll be okay.

At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself.

I'm really disappointed. And it's making me sort of angry, the poor cat is probably sulking because I kept scolding him quite forcefully. It's not his fault he's a cat and wouldn't stop meowing.... but it was annoying me.

But I'm disappointed. And it's making me want to eat ten cookies... luckily there aren't any cookies for me to eat.

Okay... I don't really want to eat ten cookies..... but it's making me want to relieve my frustration some how. And apparently that means I want to do something destructive.

I need my mother to come home so we can walk or something. Something where I am exerting frustrated energy.

It's amazing how something that I wasn't even 100% convinced I wanted to do, is bumming me out when I don't get it.

Ah well.

That's life for you I guess.

Good and bad.

And who knows, I may really love the internship in Olney, and it may become something permanent. Anything is possible.

Now the question is do I try and transfer back to Olney (where it sounds like things are rather rough right now) or do I see about finding a job somewhere else.

Choices choices.

Do things like that ever effect your diet? Because I feel like it really could mine.

I guess I'll just have to try and make sure if it does effect me it's in a positive way.

Lates.