Boo and *HUGE Tears* for me.....

I have chosen this sickly green color because I feel it matches me...

Work was a dud... or I was a dud at work... that makes more sense.

I'm feeling very down in the mouth at the moment.

A more pathetic creature I have never known than myself.

Ok so maybe there were a few things that factored into the whole mess but really.... I am still pathetic.

Tonight was the night!! It was the big show. And I blew it.... in so many ways did I blow it!

First I set myself up somewhat for puniness...(is that a real word?? If not it should be!) I didn't eat supper before I went to work tonight. Mistake numero uno!

Second they set me up by giving me a task that I am apparently unable to do (who knew I was such a weakling... not I) My job was to mainly attach doors to really tall cabinets.

Let me describe this in detail to you... thus you understand fully why this is beyond my abilities.
The cabinets are definitely more that six feet tall. (or maybe they are right at 6' ft) The doors to these cabinets are no light weight things, they are in fact quite substantial. The process for hanging these doors is thus: Hold the stinkin heavy door with one hand while supporting it on one foot, aligning the hinges with screws (that hopefully you don't need to install because we didn't take the time for that step) Ok now that the hinges are aligned with those screws we need to screw those screws in!! (it's in their nature to want to be screwed... it's what they are) Ok so take the air powered screwdriver (oh I hope you switched that from air nozzle to screwdriver cause well other wise you need to set down the door and we'll have to start all over) and let it rip! Show those screws who's boss..... what they aren't going into the hole?? Hmmm?? Well imagine that... that's because we can't just have the screws go readily into their holes, Oh no no no no no no.... You have to use force on those suckers... really push hard to get it to go! Got it??? You have that door hung yet???

Yeah!!! Exactly!!! I mean... ok so I am apparently a weenie... I mean I can lift the doors just fine, I can even hold them in place for someone else... but I can NOT hold it in place one handed/footed while using lots of force with the other hand to push the cabinet away from me. I just CAN'T!!! I'm sad and puny but there it is!!! Also somewhat in my defense I am rather short (5'6" ish?? Maybe 5'7" not tall here kids) and those cabinets are tall.... or maybe they just seemed extra tall considering the awkwardness I was in! But still they are taller than me and trying to tighten a screw that's above your head under those conditions is very very hard! (at least for me)

Ok and another thing, it wasn't bad, but the place has a certain...... shall we say odor? It's the laminate, plus glue, plus ply-whatsit lacquer thinner or whatever. The smell (which I'll admit I can easily get used too) was a bit of a surprise, an unpleasant one at that.


So I choose the sickly green color because while I had been keeping up fairly well, not setting any speed records here, I suddenly felt it... it was going to happen.....Something that hasn't happened in many years, so you could have forgotten what it feels like. But you don't. You can never forget what it feels like when it happens

Oh ok FINE! I admit it.... I THREW UP, tossed my cookies, ate in reverse, shouted at the floor. Take your bloody pick!! But there it is.... Not only that but in front of... oh let's face it everyone!

Ok not everyone everyone... but all the guys that I will most likely have to work with, not to mention my team leader AND supervisor!! Can it get worse than that?? Anything else to make everything more mortifying?? Oh how about the fact that I didn't want to throw up in front of everyone so I tried to hold it in... and failed *GROSS WARNING HERE* so there was a little on my shirt (only good thing, it was mostly liquid that time, ONLY good thing).

'That time?' you ask... oh my dear dear friends... there was more than one shouting match held.... luckily all the others were in the bathroom (THANK GOD!!)

If it hadn't be so mortifying, I might have laughed at the look on the faces of my team leader and supervisor. It was like they didn't quite know what to do... help the person who is throwing up... keep well out of the way... choices choices.

I am just so....... what's the word.... disappointed ( I guess that works ) I mean what a way to start your new job that you are so desperately needing. ( ok no real bills to speak of although I'm sure mom would like to be repaid and receive reimbursement on that whooping text bill) Not to mention jobs aren't exactly up for grabs right now... I was really lucky to get this one.

Let's just all hope and pray that 1. I feel better tomorrow, 2. There are no repeat performances and 3. Nothing worse happens next time I'm there.

I mean really..... what could be worse.... (course now that I say that.........)

Why oh why did tonight have to be such a complete and TOTAL failure??